The Host Chapter 34: Buried

J atomic number 18d lunged forward, a carriage(p) from me. With a loud smacking sound, his fist hit Kyles show.Kyles look turn all over hold up in his head, and his m give extraneoush dribble slack.The dwell was very quiet for a few seconds.Um, atomic number 101 verbalise in a mild voice, medic eachy speaking, Im non sure that was the hardly ab off availful thing for his condition. just I intent better, Jared executeed, sullen.doc smiled the tiniest smile. Well, peradventure a few more minutes of unconsciousness wont kill him.Doc began looking under Kyles lids again, taking his pulseWhat happened? Wes was by my head, speaking in a murmur.Kyle tried to kill it, Jared resolutenessed in the beginning I could. Are we in truth surprised?Did not, I muttered.Wes looked at Jared.Altruism seems to come more naturally to it than lies, Jared noted.Are you trying to be annoying? I demanded. My patience was not waning, yet entirely g mavin. How long had it been since Id sle pt? The except thing that ached worse than my forking was my head. all(prenominal) breath hurt my case. I realized, with some surprise, that I was in a truly bad mood. Because if you are, indeed be assured, you rich person succeeded.Jared and Wes looked at me with shocked eyeball. I was sure that if I could see the new(prenominal)s, their expressions would tanglech. Maybe not Jebs. He was the master of the poker face.I am female, I complained. That it commercial enterprise is really repayting on my nerves.Jared blinked in surprise. Then his face settled hazard into harder lines. Because of the body you wear?Wes glared at him.Because of me, I hissed.By whose definition?How about by yours? In my species, I am the one that bears young. Is that not female enough for you?That stopped him short. I felt almost smug.As you should, Melanie approved. Hes wrong, and hes being a pig about it.Thank you.We girls have to arrive together.Thats a story youve never told us, Wes murmured , while Jared struggled for a re neverthelesstal. How does that work?Wess olive-toned face darkened, as if hed just realized he had spoken the words out loud. I mean, I guess you dont have to answer that, if Im being rude.I laughed. My mood was brooming virtually wildly, out of control. Slaphappy, manage Mel had give tongue to. No, youre not intercommunicate anything inappropriate. We dont have such a complicated elaborate setup as your species. I laughed again, and then felt warmth in my face. I remembered only overly clearly how elaborate it could be.Get your mind out of the gutter.Its your mind, I reminded her.Then? Wes asked.I sighed. There are only a few of us who are stupefys. Not Mothers. Thats what they call us, but its just the emf to be one I was sober again, thinking of it. There were no Mothers, no surviving Mothers, only the memories of them.You have that potential? Jared asked stiffly.I knew the others were listening. raze Doc had paused in the act of gifttin g his ear to Kyles chest.I didnt answer his question. Were a minuscule akin your hives of bees, or your ants. Many, some(prenominal) nonsexual members of the family, and then the queenQueen? Wes repeated, looking at me with a exotic expression.Not like that. only there is only one Mother for every five, ten thousand of my kind. Some measures less. Theres no hard-and-fast rule.How many drones? Wes wondered.Oh, no-there arent drones. No, I told you, its simpler than that.They waited for me to explain. I swallowed. I shouldnt have brought this up. I didnt want to chew out about it anymore. Was it really such a grown thing to have Jared call me it?They still waited. I frowned, but then I spoke. Id started this. The Mothers divide. Every cell, I guess you could call it, though our structure isnt the same as yours, becomes a new soul. Each new soul has a smaller of the Mothers memory, a piece of her that remains.How many cells? Doc asked, curious. How many young?I shrugged. A on e million million or so.The eye that I could see widened, looked a little wilder. I tried not to feel hurt when Wes cringed away from me.Doc whistled under his breath. He was the only one who was still fire in continuing. Aaron and Andy had wary, disturbed expressions on their faces. Theyd never heard me teach before. neer heard me speak so much.When does that happen? Is there a accelerator pedal? Doc asked.Its a choice. A voluntary choice, I told him. Its the only way we ever exitingly bring to die. A trade, for a new generation.You could choose now, to divide all your cells, just like that?Not quite just like that, but yes.Is it complicated?The decision is. The process is aggravatorful.Painful? wherefore should that have surprised him so? Wasnt it the same for his kind?Men. Mel snorted.Excruciating, I told him. We all remember how it was for our Mothers.Doc was stroking his chin, entranced. I wonder what the evolutionary course of study would be to produce a hive society wi th suiciding queens He was lost on another plane of thought.Altruism, Wes murmured.Hmm, Doc said. Yes, that.I closed(a) my eyes, wishing my babble out had stayed closed. I felt dizzy. Was I just hackneyed or was it my head wound?Oh, Doc muttered. Youve slept even less than I have, havent you, Wanda? We should let you get some rest.M fine, I mumbled, but I didnt sacrifice my eyes.Thats just great, someone said under his breath. Weve got a crashing(a) queen mother alien living with us. She could blow into a million new buggers at any mowork forcet.Shh.They couldnt hurt you, I told whoever it was, not enterprise my eyes. Without host bodies, they would die quickly. I winced, imagining the unimaginable grief. A million tiny, bewildered souls, tiny silver babies, witheringNo one answered me, but I could feel their relief in the air.I was so tired. I didnt cautiousness that Kyle was three feet from me. I didnt care that two of the men in the room would side with Kyle if he came aro und. I didnt care about anything but sleep.Of course, that was when Walter woke up.Uuuh, he groaned, just a whisper. Gladdie?With a groan of my own, I rolled toward him. The pain in my branching made me wince, but I couldnt twist my torso. I reached out to him, found his pass around.Here, I whispered.Ahh, Walter sighed in relief.Doc hushed the men who began to protest. Wandas given up sleep and peace to help him with the pain. Her men are bruised from holding his. What have you done for him?Walter groaned again. The sound began low and guttural but turned quickly to a high-pitched whimper.Doc winced. Aaron, Andy, Wes would you, ah, go get Sharon for me, pl salve?All of us?Get out, Jeb translated.The only answer was a shuffling of feet as they left.Wanda, Doc whispered, close beside my ear. Hes in pain. I cant let him come all the way around.I tried to let out evenly. Its better if he doesnt know me. Its better if he thinks Gladdie is here.I pulled my eyes open. Jeb was beside Walter, whose face still looked as if he slept.Bye, Walt, Jeb said. See you on the other side.He toneped back.Youre a good man. Youll be missed, Jared murmured.Doc was fumbling in the package of morphine again. The paper crackled.Gladdie? Walt sobbed. It hurts.Shhh. It wont hurt much longer. Doc result make it stop.Gladdie?Yes?I love you, Gladdie. Ive loved you my whole life long.I know, Walter. I-I love you, too. You know how I love you.Walter sighed.I closed my eyes when Doc leaned over Walter with the syringe. Sleep well, friend, Doc murmured.Walters fingers relaxed, loosened. I held on to them-I was the one clinging now.The minutes passed, and all was quiet except my breathing. It was hitching and breaking, tending toward quiet sobs. mortal patted my shoulder. Hes gone, Wanda, Doc said, his voice thick. Hes out of pain.He pulled my hand free and rolled me carefully out of my awkward position into one that was less agonizing. But only slightly so. Now that I knew Walter wouldn t be disturbed, the sobs were not so quiet. I clutched at my side, where it throbbed.Oh, go ahead. You wont be happy otherwise, Jared muttered in a grudging tone. I tried to open my eyes, but I couldnt do it.Something stung my arm. I didnt remember having hurt my arm. And in such a strange place, just inside my elbowMorphine, Melanie whispered.We were already drifting now. I tried to be alarmed, but I couldnt be. I was too removed gone.No one said goodbye, I thought dully. I couldnt stop Jared but Jeb Doc Ian wasnt hereNo ones dying, she promised me. Just sleeping this timeWhen I woke, the ceiling above me was dim, starlit. Nighttime. There were so many stars. I wondered where I was. There were no black obstructions, no pieces of ceiling in my view. Just stars and stars and starsWind fanned my face. It smelled like dust and something I couldnt put my finger on. An absence. The musty smell was gone. No sulfur, and it was so dry.Wanda? someone whispered, affecting my good cheek.My eyes found Ians face, white in the starlight, leaning over me. His hand on my skin was cooler than the breeze, but the air was so dry it wasnt uncomfortable. Where was I?Wanda? Are you awake? They wont wait any longer.I whispered because he did. What?Theyre starting already. I knew you would want to be here.She comin around? Jebs voice asked.Whats starting? I asked.Walters funeral.I tried to sit up, but my body was all rubbery. Ians hand moved to my forehead, holding me pop.I twisted my head under his hand, trying to seeI was outside.Outside.On my left, a rough, tumbled pile of boulders formed a miniature mountain, complete with scrubby brush. On my right, the desert plain stretched away from me, disappearing in the darkness. I looked down past my feet, and I could see the huddle of humans, ill at ease in the open air. I knew just how they felt. Exposed.I tried to get up again. I wanted to be closer, to see. Ians hand restrained me. clean there, he said. Dont try to stand.Help me, I pleaded.Wanda?I heard Jamies voice, and then I saw him, his hair bobbing as he ran to where I was lying.My fingertips traced the edges of the plane beneath me. How did I get here, sleeping under the stars?They didnt wait, Jamie said to Ian. It will be over soon.Help me up, I said.Jamie reached for my hand, but Ian shook his head. I got her.Ian slid his arms under me, very careful to avoid the worst of the lovesome spots. He pulled me up off the ground, and my head spun like a enthral about to capsize. I groaned.What did Doc do to me?He gave you a little of the leftover morphine, so that he could check you out without hurting you. You take sleep anyway.I frowned, disapproving. Wont someone else need the medicine more?Shh, he said, and I could hear a low voice in the distance. I turned my head.I could see the group of humans again. They stood at the mouth of a low, dark, open space carved out by the crest under the unstable-looking pile of boulders. They stood in a ragged line , facing the wraithlike grotto.I recognized Trudys voice.Walter always saw the adroit side of things. He could see the bright side of a black hole. Ill miss that.I saw a figure step forward, saw the gray-and-black braid swing as she moved, and watched Trudy toss a handful of something into the darkness. Sand scattered from her fingers, dropping to the ground with a faint hiss.She went back to stand beside her husband. Geoffrey moved away from her, stepped forward toward the black space.Hell find his Gladys now. Hes happier where he is. Geoffrey threw his handful of dirt.Ian carried me to the right side of the line of people, close enough to see into the murky grotto. There was a darker space on the ground in front of us, a big oblong around which the entire human population stood in a loose half circle.Everyone was there-everyone.Kyle stepped forward.I trembled, and Ian squeezed me gently.Kyle did not look in our direction. I saw his face in profile his right eye was well swollen shut.Walter died human, Kyle said. None of us can ask for more than that. He threw a fistful of dirt into the dark shape on the ground.Kyle rejoined the group.Jared stood beside him. He took the short walk and stopped at the edge of Walters weighed down.Walter was good by means of and through. Not one of us is his equal. He threw his sand.Jamie walked forward, and Jared patted his shoulder once as they passed each other.Walter was brave, Jamie said. He wasnt xenophobic to die, he wasnt afraid to live, and he wasnt afraid to believe. He made his own decisions, and he made good ones. Jamie threw his handful. He turned and walked back, his eyes locked on mine the whole way.Your turn, he whispered when he was at my side.Andy was already moving forward, a shovel in his hands.Wait, Jamie said in a low voice that carried in the silence. Wanda and Ian havent said anything.There was an unhappy mutter around me. My brain felt like it was pitching and heaving inside my skull.Lets have some respect, Jeb said, louder than Jamie. It felt too loud to me.My first instinct was to wave Andy ahead and make Ian function me away. This was human mourning, not mine.But I did mourn. And I did have something to say.Ian, help me get some sand.Ian crouched down so I could scoop up a handful of the loose rocks at our feet. He rested my freight on his knee to get his own share of dirt. Then he straightened and carried me to the edge of the grave.I couldnt see into the hole. It was dark under the overhang of rock, and the grave seemed to be very deep.Ian began speaking before I could.Walter was the best and brightest of what is human, he said, and scattered his sand into the hole. It fell for a long time before I heard it hiss against the bottom.Ian looked down at me.It was absolutely unsounded in the starlit night. Even the wind was calm. I whispered, but I knew my voice carried to everyone.There was no hatred in your heart, I whispered. That you existed is test copy that we were wrong. We had no right to take your world from you, Walter. I hope your fairytales are true. I hope you find your Gladdie.I let the rocks trickle through my fingers and waited until I heard them fall with a soft patter onto Walters body, obscured in the deep, dark grave.Andy started to work as soon as Ian took the first step back, shoveling from a mound of pale, dusty earth that was piled a few feet far into the grotto. The shovel load hit with a thump rather than a whisper. The sound made me cringe.Aaron stepped past us with another shovel. Ian turned slow and carried me away to make room for them. The heavy thuds of falling dirt echoed ass us. Low voices began to murmur. I heard footsteps as people milled and constellate to discuss the funeral.I really looked at Ian for the first time as he walked back to the dark mat where it lay on the open dirt-out of place, not belonging. Ians face was streaked with pale dust, his expression weary. Id seen his face like that before. I coul dnt pinpoint the memory before Ian had laid me on the mat again, and I was distracted. What was I supposed to do out here in the open? Sleep? Doc was right behind us he and Ian both knelt down in the dust beside me.How are you feeling? Doc asked, already prodding at my side.I wanted to sit up, but Ian pressed my shoulder down when I tried.Im fine. I think peradventure I could walkNo need to push it. Lets give that leg a few days, okay? Doc pulled my left eyelid up, absentminded, and shone a tiny beam of light into it. My right eye saw the bright reflection that danced across his face. He squinted away from the light, recoiling a few inches. Ians hand on my shoulder didnt flinch. That surprised me.Hmm. That doesnt help a diagnosis, does it? How does your head feel? Doc asked.A little dizzy. I think its the drugs you gave me, though, not the wound. I dont like them-Id rather feel the pain, I think.Doc grimaced. So did Ian.What? I demanded.Im going to have to put you under again, Wand a. Im sorry.But why? I whispered. Im really not that hurt. I dont want -We have to take you back inside, Ian said, cutting me off, his voice low, as if he didnt want it to carry back to the others. I could hear the voices behind us, echoing quietly off the rocks. We promised that you wouldnt be conscious.Blindfold me again.Doc pulled the little syringe from his pocket. It was already depressed, only a quarter left. I shied away from it, toward Ian. His hand on my shoulder became a restraint.You know the caves too well, Doc murmured. They dont want you having the chance to guessBut where would I go? I whispered, my voice frantic. If I knew the way out? Why would I leave now?If it eases their minds Ian said.Doc took my wrist, and I didnt foment him. I looked away as the needle bit into my skin, looked at Ian. His eyes were midnight in the dark. They tightened at the look of betrayal in mine.Sorry, he muttered. It was the snuff it thing I heard.